From time to time, everyone sits down and looks over recent activities, interactions and events, and reflect on the experiences. Comparing and contrasting the goods and the bads. Find things to improve upon. Things to change. Ways to change the outcomes come to mind, and you start playing the what if game, seeing if there was something that you could have done to change the out come of some event or interaction.
Currently, I find myself sitting here taking a general look over the things that I have done, and the current state of where I am in the world. I ponder if this is where I want to be. Am I heading in a direction that I want to go in? Am I taking in the things that I want to take in? Am I taking time to appreciate the things that I do, and the environment around me? These are things that I currently wonder about. Wonder if they are things that need to change.
The day to day is the day to day. Taking each day just as time in which to fill with tasks. Each days has an emptiness to them that causes one to wonder what they purpose is. To attempt to see where meaning can be injected into the emptiness of the day to do in hopes that something exciting will come out of filling the void.
Scheduling and planning each day only seems to provide for the opportunity to speed past things, fostering the potential for more emptiness because of the changing of activities all the time. From the same point of view, one could obtain more from this changing of activities because of the potential for diversity in the subject matters. But what happens when your schedules tasks and activities don't provide diversity and you seem to continuously tread water. This is where I have found myself.
Forward movement is something that everyone wants to achieve. It provides a way to measure where you have been and the things that one has accomplished. Moving forward, breaking out of the norm is a challenge. Moving forward means change, and change can be a dangerously feared thing. But I find myself wanting to move forward, wanting to expand the horizons and conquer new things. But there is something that sits in the way of doing this. Time.
A friend said that a lack of time shouldn't be an excuse for not completing something, but not the time that it takes complete, but also the time to do background research. There are many different things out there that require a level of background knowledge, and there is also the time to keep up with the information that comes out, but this gets in the way of the other activities that are required, but bring emptiness to the world.
Ther are many different things that are interesting, but there is just no time to get into and get up to speed so that it become second nature.
But at this point in the game, I just want the feeling of moving forward.
Please also note that Google needs to fix it's source code input system. Just because I put a line break in, doesn't mean that I want a actual line break in displayed form. Please fix and let me know.